Sometimes, we just have to take a break.
It doesn’t have to be three months of no blogging, but sometimes that’s how it works out. It might just be sitting on the porch, having a beer and watching the grass grow. Working on a puzzle. Watching a TV series on Netflix. Yes, sometimes we do these things.
Why? Because we don’t know why we are doing those other things. Oh, great, you think, another crisis of meaning. Well, it is. Nothing new here. But it’s important to think about these things.
I was feeling the stress. The stress of wanting to do it all but needing, needing to take a break. This results in a sort of limbo state where I don’t properly get motivated, but I also don’t properly relax. Where I don’t write blogs or do speeches. Where I do watch a lot of TV. And then…
And then somebody died. Someone I liked. Someone I loved. Someone I will miss, even though we didn’t talk often.
And then I started to question. To think about what I really wanted.
I wanted to sit on the porch and have a beer. I wanted to do a puzzle and let my mind wander. I wanted to inspire and teach and help. I wanted to love and share.
I did not want to be stressed. I did not want to be in control of it all.
I wrote my inspiring speech, the one that had been kicking around in my head for months. It turned out well. I was nervous, of course – not over that yet – but it was close to what I had planned. A relief.
Slowly, I am working on things that have been neglected. This blog. That one. Trying to find the sweet spot. One day at a time, one thing at a time. With breaks.